God people... Stop asking about it. Yes me and Deon broke up. Or rather, I prefer to say it as stay as friends for the time being.

It came as a shock to me, and I really couldn't take it at first.

I cried like buckets, almost as if water was free.

I fully understand why some authors use the term "tears flow freely". I couldn't even control my tears, I am not even really conscious when the tears flow. Its just I suddenly feel moisture on my cheeks and I realise there are tears again.

I kept crying the whole time I was on the bus back home, and I realised in movies when the person keeps crying and everyone is staring, it's not that the person doesn't know, it's just that I don't give a damn. Stare all you want, shit you.

Well, because I kept crying, outflow and no inflow, I had swollen glands in my throat. So bad that I couldn't talk and developed a fever.

Whatever it is, I keep willing myself not to cry but somehow it just flows.

I was really upset because I have never ever been so lost, upset, broken before in all my life. I really mean my whole life, never so upset before.

Slept for 2 days straight, I didn't want to leave my bed at all cause there didn't seem like there was any purpose. Just lay there crying and hoping that some miracle would happen.

Finally on the second night, my parents decided to drag my to dinner at Changi Village cause they thought I needed to get out of the house and get some well, fresh air?

I bet I looked like a walking zombie.

Totally lifeless, just trudged up the stairs without really looking where I was going.

Didn't feel like eating not because I don't want to eat, I have seriously no appetite. No hunger pangs at all.

Went home and slept again.

After sleeping for so many days, and not replying sms-es or picking up calls, I realised it was quite pointless, life goes on, and it's not as if it's totally over.

Our problem has been building up and due to many I should say, external problems, I respect his decision for being friends for the time being.

We shall see as time goes, and maybe, someday, we might be together again.

Not like I'd ever like any other guy. Well, that's in the future, I don't know what will happen.

Everything is pretty much the same, we still sms each other, and arrange outings, it's just a relationship status change I suppose.

I really pray and hope that all these problems will fade away and we'll be together in the future again.

I don't know what will happen.

We'll see how it goes.

But I still believe that when Daddy God says "All things shall work out for good", it shall.

Alright now you guys know already, please stop asking me.

Don't tell me "don't be upset", "don't cry" or "are you alright?", because I'll only be more upset.

Maybe the best you can do is pray for me. =)







Xenocide